February 1st- My anniversary

February 1st

It has been exactly one year since I started a new covenant with God. I sat on the toilet seat in Abuja, crying and begged him to take the wheel. To take control of my life. This pain inside that I had, but didn’t know why or where it stemmed from or how to even numb it. I promised I would never touch another cigarette as long as I lived. I mean I’m sure most of you reading this didn’t even know that I was a closet smoker. I guess I started as a coping habit years ago. I knew they were disgusting and I should stop but I never really had the desire to give up. I’d never really tried to before. However, sitting there that day (smoking a cigarette might I add lol) I knew that this had to be it.

 I said to God, the one thing I have  wanted to give up but not really cared enough too, I will give up for you- please just take the pain away- fix me. It was the ultimate trade off far as I was concerned. Because I was telling myself, listen you are telling God I will never touch another one please do what you have said you will do in my life. So if you touch another one you are breaking the covenant and that little cancer stick really is not worth it. I knew in my heart that this was THE covenant, my covenant, our covenant, just God and I- and if I stuck to it I would gain peace and abundance by the bucket load from Him. What I stood to lose by starting up again was just way too much to play with.

If I thought things were hard now they would only get mind-blowingly worse. So I said nope and I knew I would never touch another one. I didn’t even have things to ask for, in the sense of normally you say I want you to do this, this and this for me God. Nope. I completely trusted Him. I said take the wheel. May YOUR will be done. I knew that I could not even begin to fathom what he had in store for my life. Thus I did not want to ask for earthly blessings from a 3D perspective,  when I knew that he had promised 5D ethereal blessings, that my mind could not even comprehend or imagine.  So I LET GO AND LET GOD  and from the very next day he started showing me. At first I didn’t notice, I just moved on auto pilot not really thinking about things. But once I stopped to think about all I learnt and experienced,  His  fingerprint is undeniable. These past 12 months he helped me unravel my soul to a different depth. He showed me who I truly was. I unshed a lot of the layers, dropped a lot of the shields, all the disguises, all the masks and truly just let my inner soul FLOURISH.

Material possessions are not really a reflection of God in your life. Living in your true purpose, truly loving your soul, making decisions that truly help your entire being become better. As when you are at your best the whole world benefits. Those are real life reflections of The Most High in our lives.

The day I put that last cigarette down and released the negative hold on my soul. It had a ricochet effect on my inner being as well as my outter being in unexplainable ways. Ways that may appear as tiny to some but are monumental towards knowledge of self and inner peace. My aura started to radiate different. The inner light magnified. I will eternally express gratitude.

February 1st. The date I turned my life around. 

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