2019

The year i fell in love with my soul. The year I learnt to be still and listen, instead of resisting every time my soul would speak.

I came to the realisation that writing is truly my outlet. It allows me to communicate with my inner wisdom. I am able to write down conversations with my soul and process them better that way.  This blog. My book. I realised are my way of sharing my souls words with the world. The inner wisdom put in my soul from The Most High. I honestly encourage you all to take time to sit with yourselves. Speak to yourself. Ask yourself questions and be still, allow yourself to answer truthfully. Just you and yourself, there’s no one there to put up a front for. Do it for you. Do it because you deserve it. Stop with the excuses.

Happiness, success, joy- are in the so called ‘small wins’- they are epic. Set small goals and smash the hell out of them, the nay-sayers will look on in awe as you flourish, because you set your own standards and rules-you set your own level of success. Not the way society defines wins or success, that eat away at your soul and leave you manic. You win the way your soul intended. You win with true happiness in your heart, in your way. Envision your true higher self…now let your actions match your thoughts and your words. That is Absolute unity of mind, body and soul.  Awakening is not the addition of new things, it is more so an offloading, a shedding of all the things that are not you. It is an unlearning of all the things you were taught, in order to finally  allow your souls true voice to be heard and understood  by your mind and body- thus creating unity and harmony. Unravel those layers and walk with your head High as your true self finally emerges from all the shedding.

I am so grateful for the light community out there. The blogs, the threads, the books,  the websites,  the memes, the Instagram  pages, spreading knowledge. They have helped me tremendously in understanding this journey that I am on at so many time’s. How beautiful it is that they use their knowledge and journey to help others along the way. I salute every single one of you using your light, your knowledge, your frequency to pull us all upwards towards a collective higher consciousness. Thank you.

To the new friends, that gave my 29th and 30th year such vibrancy, the old friendships rekindled. Even the Friendships made and lost. Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart for making my life so colourful. Thank you  for rocking with me and teaching me something new about myself, yourselves and the world we live in, for the smiles, the tears, the experiences.  I had been so broken for a long time, I don’t think I ever remembered what it felt like to be at least partially whole. But these past two years my growth has been steady rising, even during some low moments I still had a different type of peace,  like an inner knowing that it was all part of the experience  and I’d be better for it. I learnt to find me and enjoy every encounter and experience again. I learnt to see the beauty even in the “pain”.  I am grateful that I can begin to view life from a different  lens now. I said in January this year would be the year to unravel my soul. I knew it. And that is exactly what I did.

There was not a single day that went by that I didn’t think about life-it’s philosophies, the bigger picture, self growth. Tori and I spoke ceaselessly on these topics (what a blessing it is to have her) we literally were our own therapists. This year I  heard “do you have conversations like this with everyone”, a lot and i would respond yes. Lol. What else would i be talking about? I lost interest in things that didn’t grow me. I was adamant I could unpack my trauma myself and unravel my soul and I feel like I truly found H.E.R. this year. I am excited for how much more I can learn, grow, experience in this life.

Once I stopped letting society dictate what happiness, success and love looked like to me- I started to truly see The Most High in a way I have never seen him before. His omnipresence-from the moon, the stars, the sun,the herbs, the crystals, alkaline foods, electrifying your body, meditation, research, Schumann resonance, frequencies, sound therapy, re-tuning the body, quest to truly go within and better self without ego,  ascension to your higher self, understanding that the African deities were truly just elements of Him in different forms ( IE. strength, love, courage etc). His connectedness to them. His connectedness to it all. All of these different forms of His power. Knowing these things brought me a different type of reverence and stillness.

This year, I tried to be more present and mindful and that continues to be the goal. I don’t want to ever make the statements “I can’t wait for”, “I wish it was now”. Do not wish your life away. Enjoy the now, see the necessity and the beauty in it. This year, I decided to really get to know me. Who am I? What do I like. What makes me tick? What does my soul want? What does it love? What are your desires? My determination to find self and be the best version of myself is relentless. The pursuit of higher self is automatic and drives everything I do. I am not afraid to ask my self the toughest of questions. To really check myself and make adequate adjustments if need be, because ultimately the goal is to find truth, to live my BEST life in every sense of the saying- not the fake society version, but my best life, as in my mind, body and soul unite and live in harmony.

If I shut myself off to knowledge or truth I am hurting no one but myself and I swore to love my self and love my soul. I will find true love- the love of myself without shame. We can be aware of things we want to improve about ourselves but still love the journey and process, still love yourself even in your “flawed” state. 2019 was The year my higher self took my hand and said let’s go it’s time. And Lord knows I’m grateful. I’m writing this with tears in my eyes, because old me would have said this year was difficult, woe is me but i learnt some lesson etc. New Tes however, sees that this year was PERFECT. It went exactly how Teso’s 30th year was supposed too. Light yourself up from within and live the life you want.

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