So far, this natural hair journey has been a real stripping down of my layers in order to deal with unprocessed trauma I’ve accrued as a result of the anti blackness surrorunding Afro hair. I had developed so many complexes but didn’t even realise it. Learning to truly love yourself and unravel your soul is a tumultuous ride no doubt.
Anyway, since I’ve started this journey, I haven’t been comfortable having my hair out in it’s glory, letting it be, with no slick down, no enhanced curls, just out in its natural shrunken state. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve worn it out like that since this new journey but I’m never truly comfortable. This week however I felt a shift and I’ve been wearing my Afro everyday unapologetically- Infact I’m in love with it. I feel like I’ve overcome that trauma. The trauma that told me my Afro wasn’t good enough and made me feel like I wasn’t myself. Imagine being in your natural state, your natural unique beauty, and feeling unlike yourself.
You see your true self and you don’t recognise it because of the deep rooted trauma society has imposed on black women. From turning us into caricatures of ourselves with the surgery craze to making it the norm for us to hide our natural hair because it’s not “Not manageable” it is “Unkempt”. I realised that my Afro is Me. This ‘new’ look is me. It’s the true me. In my unfiltered glory and I’m truly seeing the beauty. I am truly grateful- some days I still struggle to feel ‘beautiful’ but those days are few and far between.
That leads me onto my next point- so this week at work I have been wearing my Afro proudly. My white colleague who constantly makes reference to my hair said to me “i don’t like your hair like this, i prefer it slicked down”.
He literally had no idea how FANTATSICALLY racist that was. Dear white people- Let me explain something to you. We do NOT give a fuck about your standards of beauty and what it is you like or do not like about our hair.
The fact that you see our hair in its natural state and call it “frizzy” “mop” “bushy” and you have the effrontery to voice to us that you don’t like it is beyond me. Who asked you? Why do you feel you have that right? (You really shouldn’t be giving your opinion on people’s natural state anyway. It shows low emotional intelligence) AGAIN- we do NOT give a fuck about your opinion. Nobody asked you. And if you see Afro hair and it repulses you- then you my dear are one of the vast majority of the white population that is indoctrinated with the sickness of faux superiority that manifests by comparing themselves to others or oppressing others to feel more relevant and better about their insecurities and inadequacies.
Again white supremacies inherent need to maintain this forced, false notion that they are superior. I’ve never known another race of people to literally validate themeselves based off of how much better they supposedly are than another race. The insecurity is blinding to me. It’s like they’re constantly comparing. From music to athletics to corporate environments, to the way we speak, our colloquialisms, our food, our hair, our clothes, our languages, our accents. White supremacy is constantly studying us and telling us that it is wrong-we are wrong, meanwhile, we literally just mind our business and do us. Excelling is in our blood. White supremacy can’t function without constantly trying to batter or destroy our beings from every angle- for no other reason that they feel threatened. It highlights a huge insecurity and inadequacy.
This Afro of mine is a direct connector to source. A direct connection to the universe. A powerful energy source in itself. Dear white people, your negative opinions on how I should and shouldn’t wear my hair are never ever welcome. MY Afro and the way I choose to wear MY hair is not up for discussion with you. For once, mind your business and keep you mouth closed. That you prefer Beckys straight hair is good for you. My Afro wasn’t created for you to like or your approval.