So I have decided to go on a natural hair journey. AGAIN. My hair has technically been natural for about 7 years now. I just always hide it under weaves, braids, etc. I’m not one of those people who have heaps and heaps of hair like my sister and my mum lol. My sister has cut her hair three good times in the time that I’ve been natural and her hair is still longer than mine. (Constantly having my hair underneath weaves and braids certainly doesn’t help matters). Although we have completely different hair textures and curl patterns. I’ve always felt a way because my hair wasn’t “long” enough and the curl pattern wasn’t as “soft” as society had said was acceptable. You know the loose soft curls that are long and bouncy. Those curls are beautiful not my short 4b/c super spirals lol. How often do you see short 4c hair glorified on social media? Anyway, I realised that I preach about black power, self love and how a hair style doesn’t define us and it absolutely doesn’t, everybody has their own journey but it became telling to me that I myself never ever had my natural hair out. These days I would walk into a room- there would be 10 black women in there and of the 10 black women, 8 would have extensions/weaves. It made me think yes I know we do protective styles bla bla but why are we not as comfortable just showcasing our hair the way it grows out of our head naturally?
Obviously society- white society has spread the notion of white hair as the standard of beauty so the closer our hair is to them then the more beautiful right? This same notion has been so widespread that even we ourselves start to perpetuate this stereotype. How many times have you heard a black woman/man talk about hair and the type of hair they like. It tends to be mixed race curly hair. That’s the acceptable curl standard. So we started to call our hair “nappy”. There is nothing nappy about our hair. We have different hair textures within our race- society again has tried to tell us that this amazing hair type- this hair that defies gravity is not beautiful. And it is only beautiful if it is a certain texture and is a certain length. LIESSSSSSSSSS. It is not true. Our hair is so beautiful. In all the different colours, textures, curl patterns, lengths. Just stunning. They say natural hair is “hard work”. But that is because we have not been taught how to maintain our hair from a young age. A lot of us had our hair relaxed by the time we were even 5 years old. So from a young age we are conditioned to think that the way our hair grows out of our head is problematic and unmanageable. Again, LIESSSSSSSSSSSS. If we are instead taught HOW to manage it just like we are taught everything else about looking after our body, then it just becomes a part of our routine. Like getting in the shower, washing your skin, exfoliating or creaming you entire body. It just becomes a part of you. Something you do naturally.
I cannot wait to start styling my TWA (teeny weeny Afro) I have been thinking about all the little styles i can do ✨🤸🏽♀️I am one of those people whose hair doesn’t actually Afro if blown or stretched out. It just falls limply to the side😟. I can only achieve the Afro look when it is shrunken all the way down (as far as I know) I have accepted it though and cannot wait to start experimenting 😁I have decided to have it out a lot more. This is not to say I won’t still wear my weaves/wigs occasionally or get protective braids/locs (although the thought of putting another human beings hair from their head on my head is something, that thinking about it from a different viewpoint now, is the wildest thing ever but I’ll probably discuss that in another post when I have deciphered my own feelings on it properly) anyway, it just means I want to see my hair flourish in its natural state. How can I not? It is MY CROWN. Self love extends to your hair too. Your hair has to be treated with the same love you give the rest of your being. I realised that as much as I preach about black love, how no two people are the same- we are all beautiful. I was still internalising white supremacist ideology when it came to the standard of beauty for hair and a lack of self love. I mean the fact that I preach about the beauty of black people (and I mean it with every fibre in me) but still never really would have my natural hair out is evidence of this and society’s indoctrination. It is a painful realisation for me. I would rock a short straight pixie wig but not my short natural hair? Why? Asking tough questions and unravelling is never easy. No matter how much I praised our hair I didn’t believe that my own hair was beautiful. I felt like it didn’t suit me, like it wasn’t good enough to showcase. How sad that I felt like this my entire life(certainly didn’t help that family members were constantly mocking my hair throughout childhood and early teenage years, so I felt like I couldn’t grow ‘good hair’, not realising that it was the lack of care that caused it to not grow as it should, not that I was incapable). No matter how much I argue against this it is the truth. Why else would I claim to be natural, never straighten my natural hair, but also never have it out on show? Out of an entire year, my hair can stay braided up, weaved up, anything but naturally out, for long periods of time. There have been years whereby my natural hair has not been out for more than 24hours (maximum) at a go in an entire year, and it’s literally only out to take out the last weave and get it ready for the next weave/extension. It is a mask and I just became fed up of wearing it. I felt like hiding my hair was hiding my essence. I felt stifled. I had to start treating my essence with real love so I could have the pleasure of watching it flourish. This is something I thought of DAILY for the past 6months to be honest, the last thing I thought about on a regular basis like this before I did it, was writing my book. I thought about that every single day for a year. Without fail. My spirit wouldn’t let me rest. And again with this, my spirit did the same thing. Until I knew I had to address it.
How can a Queen deny her crown?
This is my crown and it is beautiful. It doesn’t need to look like your crown. It is MY crown. Unique. Just like me. We are all unique. Unique and beautiful. No buts. Just beautiful. Showcase your crown Queen. #Unravelyoursoul