What’s Love got to do with it…

Love is a powerful emotion. It does after all make the world go round they say.  It is probably the most important thing on this earth. Understanding and exploring love is an integral part of the journey to enlightenment. It does not necessarily have to be the love of a partner either. But just in general the love for a friend, parent, child, sibling, pet etc. We tend to love these things for a reason. There’s always a because. Conditions. Then there’s love for somebody that you never really knew. It comes completely unexpectedly. It takes you by surprise and it stays. You’ll do all that you can to deny it; no matter how much you fight it or how different you both may seem. Love creeps in, in spite of these things. There are no conditions to this love. No because. It just is. Thats what I like to call Irrevocable love. The type of love that art, songs and poems are made off.

People tend to say love is thinking with your heart not your brain. Love is a spiritual act no doubt, but our physical reactions to love are outstanding. It actually occurs in the brain. It is the brain that generates the chemical signals to make us feel or understand love. Think about it. Your pupils dilate when you look at someone you love. Like they say it is all in the eyes, windows to the soul. Your brain releases oxytocin aka “the love hormone” which basically gives you comfort in intimacy and close proximity. Pheromones which (are a chemical substance that trigger responses in other people when secreted) are also released which explains why their body fragrance becomes familiar. It works stronger than a perfume attraction. Also dopamine is released which is a neurotransmitter, a chemical related to the reward-motivation behaviour. Increase in dopamine causes pleasure. So it would be safe to conclude that technically speaking love has a lot more to do with the brain than the heart right? Yet it doesn’t explain the connection to the heart. Painters, artists etc all epitomise the symbol of the heart as love. There are different forms and styles of expressing love.

The bible talks about four different types of love:

Agape
which is the love that Yeshua (Jesus Christ) has for the world and exhibited through out his life. It is often described as the purest type of love. Unconditional and accepts the recipients for who they are shortcomings flaws and all. It is the type of love the commandment is referring to when it says “love thy neighbour as thyself”. It’s the kind of love most human beings strive to have for their neighbour. You may not like them but you love them just as a human being.

Phileo
It is a warm affectionate platonic love. This is similar to Agape love but you choose who you give it to so in essence it’s conditional. It can be described as “brotherly love” . You choose its’ recepient, usually a friend. You may have an Agape love for enemies but it will not be a Phileo love.

Storge-“It is a kind of family and friendship love. This is the love that parents naturally feel for their children; the love that members of the family have for each other; or the love that friends feel for each other similar to Phileo. In some cases, this friendship love may turn into a romantic relationship, and the couple in such a relationship become best friends. Storge love is unconditional, accepts flaws or faults and ultimately drives you to forgive. It is committed, sacrificial and makes you feel secure, comfortable and safe.”

Eros
“This is the love most people speak of when they say they are in love. It is a passionate and intense love that arouses romantic feelings; it is the kind that often triggers “high” feelings in a new relationship and makes you say, “I love him/her”. It is simply an emotional and sexual love. Although this romantic love is important in the beginning of a new relationship, it may not last unless it moves a notch higher because it focuses more on self instead of the other person.”

A relationship strictly based off of Eros love will most likely fail; because if the person “in love” doesn’t feel good about their relationship anymore then they’ll stop loving their partner. How can that be true love if the feelings are based off of conditions? True love as defined in the bible in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is;

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails.”

People often focus on one sort of love. When realistically true love is an amalgamation of all these different forms of love. Love is different for everyone. It is something that we all deep down inside feel like we deserve. It may start from a smile. A kind word. A little care. Then it branches out from there. It is not a bump less stress free ride. It is a commitment to weathering the storm. The intention of working through anything. The lack of malicious intent. The understanding of one and another. Love is the emotional manifestation of ‘through thick and thin’. You just have to find the person willing to do so with you. The person that possesses the same fire as you do. The soul mate.

The deep emotional bond we share with this soul and the ensuing life lessons we will learn during our encounter with them will be phenomenal. This joining, this heart connection, this kind of bond never breaks. No amount of time, distance or indifference can deteriorate that bond. Infact, in most cases, the distance, the time and the indifference actually deepens the bond of the soul. Your soul mate is someone you feel a supreme level of comfort and security with. This does not mean, as aforementioned, that it will be smooth sailing or that there won’t be arising issues to be rectified. Rather, it simply means we know intuitively that we can resolve issues with our soul mate without losing his or her love and respect.

Not someone that simply views you as a burden or a meal ticket, second best or is even with you because of pity or societal expectations. It will undoubtedly lead to unhappiness and resentment. It is not something that should be forced. I have always said there is nothing more devastating that unrequited love, be it from a sibling, parent, friend or partner. (Even Yahweh is upset when we do not show him the love that we are supposed to.) Just as there is nothing more elating than unadulterated pure love. It is something of grandeur, something only dreams are made of. It is calm. An elixir of tranquility. It is serenity. Never settle for less. #becauseknowledgeofselfisnirvana

5 thoughts on “What’s Love got to do with it…

  1. Never. Settle. For. Less … To experience unadulterated, pure love is a feeling I look forward to. It leads one down a path whereby all inhibitions are squashed and places a lot of trust into another individual, a journey and a learning exp worth taking …

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is enlightening. I never knew about storge love… but yea pheromones, how I love to read about them. I once read that pheromones carry information about one’s genetic health and the inhaler’s brain can use that information to determine if the other person is a good match for producing offsprings.
    This info has indeed turned me into a sniffer as I am usually fond of taking a deep breathe when I hug someone I like to provide my brain with more data to process. When the brain finds a good match you start feeling some type of connection/chemistry with the person.

    Liked by 1 person

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